Friday 21 August 2009

the great depression

My prediction at the beginning of the year
2009 will be just fine
has not come to fruition.

I have succumbed to the melancholic way of thinking and cannot get out.
I don't even know how to write this post..

I have suffered mild depression in the past which is linked to a hormone imbalance (pcos) that I have , its a vicious circle.

I shall either battle on or cut off my left ear!

This isn't a sympathy post, I just feel my life on the blog shouldn't all be about roses,
when its so blatantly not!

ps. my creative mind has packed up and left the building!
any ideas would be much appreciated.


Floss said...

Aww, Clare - my vote is to keep both ears on!

You're right to blog about it - fake blogging is pretty awful and makes the rest of us feel inadequate, as if some people were perfect all the time...

I'll be thinking of you as we head off on our hols, and from my own understanding, I know there is an end to depression, even though it is invisible at the time and totally unpredictable as to when it comes...

God bless,


Locket Pocket said...

Life just gets too difficult at times doesn't it? Hope you feel brighter and happier soon. Take care, Lucy xxxx

P.S. Love the Moldy Peaches song on your blog!

Knitty, Vintage and Rosy said...

My suggestion is to continue doing what you are doing...your photos are beautiful. Your blog is very calming.

And your last post photo was stunning.


silverpebble said...

Oh goodness Clare I'm so sorry to read this. Reading between the lines it sounds as though you've had a tough, tough year. All I can advise is make. Make things - lots of things that need lots of soothing repetitive work. Another hex quilt? Plant, dig, grow things. Plant bulbs, order seeds. Sarah Raven seeds perhaps? Things that will be especially beautiful next year. Treat yourself, in little ways. These things have helped me out of that black place in the past. I really am thinking of you xxxxxxxx

Michela said...

I'm very sorry to hear that you're not ok. Keep on blogging!
Hope you get better soon!
A big hug

Shabby Chick said...

Hi Clare

When I disappear from blogging and stop making things it's usually depression related as well (been on happy pills for it for four years give or take a few months break here and there). I think when you feel depressed you don't have the energy for creativity but it can be a vicious cycle unfortunately :(

If you ever want to offload on someone who understands you know where I am.

Big hugs Mel xxx

Serenata said...

I am with you completely and have been suffering myself recently and know just how you feel, the complete lack of motivation and flat feeling. I suggest you keep your ear ;-) and keep battling on, knowing you are not alone.

Lisa said...

Hi Clare. I'm sorry to read you aren't in a good place right now. I think you are right to blog the bad stuff as well as the good stuff, after all that's what life is all about and getting stuff out of your head can be a release sometimes.
The children are back at school in a couple of weeks and my mornings will be free if you fancy meeting for a coffee, cake and chat.
Take good care of yourself.
Lisa xx

jennyflowerblue said...

Do keep saying what you're feeling....keep your ears on....have a hug. xx

Diane said...

Hi Clare, My heart goes out to you. Ive never suffered from depression (touch wood). I have had a lot of life c*ap thrown at me, and got very down in the dumps at times. At these times, Ive taken inspiration from others and formulated a plan (and also formulated plan b, c, d etc - however many plans in took) to give me an aim and a purpose. At these times, I have tried to say "yes" to every opportunity that fell in my path - especially things that I would not have normally done, often way outside of my comfort zone. I think you should try something completely different. I'm sending you loads of love and best wishes. xxx

Unknown said...

Clare , all I can hope is that things improve for you ! Take care and all the very best wishes to you .

Sue said...

Take time for yourself to just BE.

Don't try to rush yourself to be better. You can only be what you are, people love what you are so accept their love and gradually things can only get better.

Bloggers are a great family, take time to read others blogs, but feel no pressure to post yourself until you want to.

If you need to post how you feel write it all down, we will all understand and will only be here to help and support in any way we can.

You can always delete at a later date when you are feeling lighter.

Above all if you need help, ask for it.

But whatever happens, keep both your ears on, you never know when you may need to wear glasses!!

Sue xx

Lyn said...

Bake a cake then eat it! works for me every time!!!

Mary Poppins said...

Right I am giving you biiiiiiiig hug, hope you felt it :)

I feel a little blue at the moment, can't put my finger on it exactly but hey ho thats me and hopefully is only a little shadow amongst the playful, cheery me.

Do know that i am thinking of you, you know how i feel about perfect blogs, rather dull and i know you are certainly not a dullard, so keep talking, keep strong, and please do keep your ears, imagine not being able to hear the birdsong, the waves lapping, wonderful music, and all pretty sounds.

Luvs ya


Louise said...

Notice my lack of blog posts recently. I've been where you've been. Not wanting to go into too much detail, I really do understand how you are feeling right now. Just remember not to bottle up your feelings. Share them with family or a close friend. x

Simone said...

I love the kitty painting! I am sorry to hear that you have been battling with depression. I find that when I am low I turn to poetry either writing or reading it. I also find writing a gratitude journal also helps even if it is really difficult to think of anything to be grateful for! I wish you well Clare and hope that you will find a way to get back into the swing of things. x

JuliaB said...

Really sad to hear that you're sad. I hope things start looking up soon. xx